Blog Post: Emails Can Be Deadly To Your Career…and Personal Life

 This post looks at how emails can damage your relationships at work and personally if not handled well.  For a free résumé workbook and other free information, see the contact info at the end of this post.

 My 22 year old daughter thinks email is old-fashioned…hopelessly so.  But, since my thumbs are way too huge to navigate a Blackberry and text, she stoops to using it to communicate with her antique of a dad.

 While the young ‘uns think email is quaint, it can still cause plenty of trouble at work and in personal relationships if it isn’t handled correctly.

 There are two equal, but opposite, errors that can be made with email.  The first is to take a personal tone on professional emails.  The other is to take a professional tone with personal emails.

 Professional/business emails should be short, to the point communication.  Rather than “Dear John” the business email starts out either without a person’s name or simply “John —”  The information is then given in a short, factual and professional manner.  A business email should never be “chatty,” and should not close with endearments, such as “Hugs” or even “Take Care.” It is for the conveying of information.  Of course, as with personal emails, the “tone” of the email should convey friendliness, but, unlike personal emails, should not convey closeness.

 One other mistake often made in often emails is to make them too curt, giving the impression of the author being angry.  This is a very big mistake.  It can lead to cooled office relationships, just as such a “tone” can lead to ruined personal relationships.  While not being “chatty,” it is important to be friendly in office communication.  Here is an example of a supervisor writing to an account executive poorly:

 George — received your msg. yesterday re customer John Smith.  Expect you will handle it.  Bob.

 This message leaves George wondering if he is in trouble or being given a vote of confidence.  A better email message would be:

 George — Thanks for your message yesterday on John Smith.  I know that you’ll handle this situation just fine, but my door is open if you want to chat about it.  Keep me in the loop, and stop by if I can help.  Bob.

This took no longer to write, but conveyed warmth and support.

Of course, as anxiety provoking as the first email is in a work situation, it is disaster in a personal one.  Personal emails should convey extensive warmth and caring.  They should begin with a friendly greeting like:  “Hi Julie,” and continue in a personal tone.  This is a good personal email example:

Hi Julie.  Thanks for the pics you sent me.  Wow!  You look great!  I hope you’re enjoying your time in the Florida sun.  All is well here, and I’ll keep watering the plants and feeding the cat until you guys get back.  Hugs to all!  Joan.

Here is an example of a poor personal email with the same situation.

Julie — Got the pics.  Have fun in Florida .  House is fine.  Joan.

It only takes a moment or two to write a personal, warm email, whether it is in the workspace or for personal reasons.  The few minutes you take to do so can spare an employee, a loved one or a friend a great deal of anxiety.

However, one thing that email should very rarely be used for is the thank you note, especially after an interview or for something that has been very helpful.  For formal occasions, such as a job interview, a promotion, a nice gift for a special day, or a dinner invitation an emailed note is simply not enough.  There are exceptions, of course, including a dinner invitation with a close friend or family with whom you often trade off dinners.  But for most situations, a thank you note should be nicely hand-written and mailed at once after the event.  For interviews, I tell my clients to go to a coffee shop, write the thank you notes and drop them in the mail before heading home from the interview.  This assures that within a day or two the people who interviewed you are reminded of your candidacy.

Another no-no is writing emails to end a relationship or try to deal with issues in a relationship.  The exception to this is if someone is so rude in a friendship or other relationship as to not return your calls to them within 48 hours, or if they blow off a face-to-face meeting.  Then email may be your best choice.  However, breaking up with someone by email or texting, quitting a job by these methods, or ending a friendship either way is usually entirely inappropriate.  I know one poor gentleman who got a notice that his wife was leaving him by a text message when he was on a business trip over 1,000 miles from home.  Ouch!  And completely without class.

Finally — not answering emails that require an answer is incredibly rude.  It is almost as bad as not returning a phone call in a timely manner.  If you need to take a day or so to think over the answer lest you cause further difficulties, that is one thing.  Letting an email go for more than that is approaching inexcusable.

Remember — write emails appropriate to the situation, be warm in your emails, don’t use emails for very important events, and return emails in a timely manner.  While there are many other rules for using email, these must wait for another time.

 J.

John Heckers, MA, CPC, BCPC, is a career coach and executive coach in Cherry Creek, Colorado.  He may be reached at his personal cell phone number 720.581.4301, or his email: jheckers@aol.com and welcomes your calls and questions.  Website:  www.heckersdevgroup.com.  For a free résumé guide, and job board listing send current résumé with the word “RESUME” in the subject line to jheckers@aol.com.  For information on our Executive Structured Networking Event send name, current or last title, and phone, with INFO in the subject line to jheckers@aol.com.  I will also accept all invitations on LinkedIn.